Sometimes the world makes me feel like being human is such a crime.
I have this (really bad) habit of classifying people by the vibes they send--- it doesn't help in cases when you don't get your teacher's vibes and the subject she's teaching is hard to follow. I end up feeling miserable and incompetent and stupid and annoyed at myself for being a limp tortoise in a rabbit race.. So I try to tell mom about my dilemma. Sometimes it takes a long time for me to adjust to something or someone, and I know that it's not really helping me. But when I finally tell someone about this problem and try to express my desire to change (that's code for me trying to seek help), I end up being judged and chastised for my fault instead of being appreciated for my efforts at self-improvement. And it's killing me. Slowly, slowly, slowly, but surely.
Is there no way out of this vicious cycle?
Sometimes it takes a long time for me to adjust to something or someone-> I feel your pain:(
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I super know the draining feeling of being stuck in a rut and out of passion but don't give up! And you have to promise never to lose your super cool and awesome artistic self in the process of following your dream cause I swear you are one of the best people I've ever known and it's so sad to see all this eating you up :(
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ReplyDeleteyes. yes and yesssssss. sobrang same situation tayo. totally regretting taking up summer classes. bombing math 54 so muchhh; mas mababa nga ako sa class average :)) it's so hard to put effort on to something that you're not really passionate about. tapos di ko pa feel yung teacher ko. tapos feeling ko ang bobo bobo ko...lgjalkgj;
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