You don't realize how much I need you

Where we're going we don't need roads.

We need an iron will, a steadfast dream, a strong heart. We need arms that give warm hugs, eyes that see beyond the perceivable, and lips that dance with laughter when things seem at their worst.

We need determination to keep on keeping on, gentleness of spirit to reach out and comfort the fearful, and humor to temper the tempest. We need love when Org Chem gets grotty, trust when we dare explore, and a good life soundtrack that includes dat Journey song. We need self-confidence, faith, and tons of dark chocolate.

We need friends who will remind us that we can land among the stars despite the terrible weather. We need families who will tell us that it's okay to look to them for support and warm, home-cooked meals. We need mentors who believe in our potential, and will commit to helping us make that happen. We need coffee, tea, or any other caffeinated drink to get us by. We need comets to chase, tears to wipe off, and enough compassion (and pancakes and awesome turkey sandwiches) to go around.

We need one another on this journey, and we hafta learn to accept that fact. We were not born to walk this Earth on our own; it was made just so that we would have hands to hold, shoulders to lean on, and Kleenex to share. God made it just so that we would look to one another and realize that we can never be truly alone. God made it just so because He wanted us to feel loved. God made it just so that we can look to one another and thank Him for being so darn generous.

Good Friday, good life realizations. Yes.

Back to Chemming/Bio-ing/Hum-ing. Wish me luck, kid.

Occupation: my heart (and dinosaurs)

Why did you hafta be incredibly, adorably geeky. :((

When even Elmer's Glue won't do.

I don't know if I want to cry, repeatedly hit my head against the wall, or sleep it off. This whole chem thing is really making me so sad :(( Did you know that one 5.0 marks you off UPCM for good? :(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( I don't want to let this one course stop me from making my med dreams. I try to put on a brave face, but the truth is that deep inside I'm scared sh**less.

The part I cannot accept is that my body cannot stand by me through all this. It gets tired, it gets sleepy, it gets hungry when I can neither afford rest nor refueling. :| It cannot stay awake beyond 27 hours, a far cry from my Pisay record (39!). These things should be in my control, but it sure doesn't feel that way. These limitations plus my academic shortcomings make me feel that I am disappointing everyone, even myself. :'( It just sucks when even your own thoughts, your self-worth and self-faith (I cannot afford a better term on 30 minutes of sleep) are starting to give up on you. It leaves a hollow, uneasy feeling inside; so uncomfortable  that neither catharsis nor private contemplation can make me feel okay again.


It is one of the worst experiences of this lifetime: feeling so helpless, so hopeless as I struggle to save the dreams I built in my youth from the harsh, heartless realities of the world.

They say it is darkest before the break of dawn. How much longer do I hafta brave?

You just don't get it :))

La Luna

The key to happiness is rediscovering your childhood dreams. :)

:D

I smile because I believe the struggle will pay off. "This too shall pass", they say, but I say kick ass while you're at it! Keeping the momentum is the most important part. Getting lazy halfway up a flight of stairs wastes all the previous steps you've taken. There's a new world to be won~

I smile because I know there are better things ahead. Higher chances at that GWA (ehemgoodprofcomboehem). Chewier batches of cookies, with the chocolate chips melted just right. Nicer pair of jeans that don't cut off the blood supply to your ankles. Better times to be hugged, to be loved... actually, that one falls under 'any time at all'.

I smile because I have been blessed with the most wonderful people who make the toughest challenges fun and the biggest gambles worth risking. Awesome moms who make tea for their sleep-deprived/closet crammer kids at 2 am. Siblings who insist that you look okay (even if you don't) just because they know it's your favorite shirt, dammit. Friends who make up funny syllabicated devices to help you remember classical music themes. :)

I smile because I know I won't get lost with You in my life. And if my path starts taking a detour (and I know sooner or later it will), I smile from all the excitement: I know I am in for a helluvan adventure, and I have all these awesome people to share it with! What can possibly go wrong?

Let's go!

I fell in love with Pisay the Movie the first time I saw it. I wept when Minggoy died. I weep today for you.

Halley's Comet, March 1986.

Hindi kita nakilala personally, pero sa nababasa ko ngayon alam kong marami kang masasayang alaala na iiwan sa lahat ng mapalad na naging bahagi ng iyong paglalakbay sa mundong ito. Mapalad ang iyong mga kaibigan, mapalad ang iyong mga guro at kamag-aral, mapalad ang iyong pamilya na dumaan ang orbit mo sa orbit nila.

Short-period comet, sabi ng Wikipedia, pero namamalas ng lahat ang iyong liwanag. At ang masaksihan ang iyong pagdaan sa mundong ito ay isang karanasan at biyayang hindi malilimot ninuman habang sila ay nabubuhay.

Rest in peace, Rod Laserna. Hanggang sa susunod na pagkikita.

I hate it when you make it so hard to say goodbye.  @-)

So.

Yet another Saturday lost to procrastination, lethargy, and worry. :|

Here's the list that's been scaring me off:

Mon

Tue
[ ] Biolab Exam
[ ] Hum 2 paper
[ ] Visual Arts exam + Elements of Principle and Design Quiz

Wed
[ ] Experiment 10

Thu
[ ] Nat Sci 4 long test 2

Fri
[ ] ELIZA'S GRADUATION ADSKFLQWESTKSCBHDLFJASDJFDKSJ
[ ] PI all papers in!
[ ] Hum Listening Exam @_@

Sat
[ ] Chem lab Depex 3

T_T

I write to let go of what my parents wouldn't want to see in my brain if they looked in.

So many ideas floating in my head

But I have to keep 'em mum until this week sem is over :(

This week @-)
Mon: Biolec quiz
Tue: Biolab exam
Wed: Chemlab exam
Thu: Biolec exam
Sat: Chemlec exam

Upcoming:
PI 100: all papers in by March 22 (ALL PAPERS ASDFFGJKJASDJFKFJASD) + demo of Opera music
Natsci 4: Soot paper + Rolled paper building
HumII: Listening exam (41 tracks! And I only know about 6--Handel's, Eine Kleine Nachtmusik, and Canon in D of course)

LET'S DO THIS, KID. Like, seriously do this (read: no more procrastinating)

Blogging counts as procrastinating, right? :|