Expectations versus Reality.

Before I start with the hardcore emo approach, let's go the comic way first.

If you're sad, please don't read the rest of this entry. It'll only make you sadder (and it'd be my fault, too). :( But if you're feeling brave (or happy) enough, then by all means dive right in.

PART ONE: Setting the Mood

1) Play the video below.

2) Try to get the feel of the song as you listen.

3) Keep it playing as you read.

PART TWO:  The (Poetic) Rant

Do you know how awesome this song is? It strikes the fulfilled AND regretful chords all at the same time. That's how all this sadness was triggered. Tsk tsk.

I've realized that disappointment and contentment has been influencing my palettes lately (aside from the occasional burst of pink), and I kinda find that sad. Like, 500-Days-of-Summer sad. And on some (MOST) days it's really not the best thing. :( I can't really cry 'cause I'm too tired and exhausted (I find myself having fatigue for breakfast on most days), but there's something inside that wants to be let out. Problem is I really don't think I have the energy (or the time) to really let it all out.

          Expectations-------------> Reality. Palette poetry. :>

It's depressing when you can't meet the expectations of society, but what's more depressing is when you can't meet your own. And that's what's been making me 'cry' for quite some time now (notice the 'crying deep down' tag). A part of me keeps saying I never really achieve, I do a so-and-so job and leave it at that. Now the parade of if-only's go round and round my head: taunting me, haunting me, rocking me to sleep each night.

PART THREE: Closing Remarks

Listening to this song, I get the feeling of letting something so good (probably great beyond my wildest imagination) slip away right before my very eyes, without even trying to hold on to it. I simply let it walk out the door, I let the fire die out. I failed.

So there. It's that feeling you get when you listen to this song: the feeling of love and loss, dreams and disappointments, expectations and reality. And no matter how lyrical and poetic it all sounds, the emptiness it leaves behind is once again something beyond my vocabulary.