Mind Games

I should really stop this vicious cycle.

The assuming-expecting combo is my greatest flaw: happy as a puppy one moment then suddenly down in the dumps the next, I ride an emotional rollercoaster I built for myself with generally-nice gestures, sappy text messages, and 10-to-3 conversations about almost anything we can talk about.

Why can I not tell generic kindness from special treatment? Why do I fall for imaginary interest? Why can I not stop believing in fairytales? I am nineteen, I should've learned to be realistic a million eternities ago.

Ugh. Feels again. I shoul go back to the AVP.

My pillow is yours ♡

Academic interest, pop culture prowess, conversations deep into the night (morning). You make my dreams come true!

Occupation: my heart (and dinosaurs)

Why did you hafta be incredibly, adorably geeky. :((

Sunday morning reflection

Lord,

Do not let the dreams you placed in my heart to die with me.

Push me to work on them now, that they may outlive my mortality.

Teach me to keep trying and trying, to persevere at my tasks and my dreams. Show me that perseverance, not perfection, is the key.

Teach me to hold on to You even when circumstances seem the most uncertain. Only You will be there for me, and that in itself is the most comforting thought.

Amen.

Melting in my seat as I tykhjgfjflasdhfhekjdcnmljhfoehfnxvcxm

He's so pretty it's criminal. @-)

  

Ugh, sembreak's (almost) overrr. T_T

The Minimalist Layout

...is for hana*, for teaching me that light colors and simple lines are beautiful in their own way.

...and this little palette is for you.

Let me count the ways.

++ Serif appreciation, y'all.

by the way,

HELLO SEMBREAK! ♥

:)

Someday, (I hope) my four-eyed, nerdy, awkward, funny, bookish, caring, sweet prince will come. And he will see this. And that wonderful wonderful smile will upturn the corners of his well-versed, simple squamous epithelium-covered lips, and the world will be right again.

Awesome fonts + colors + retroness

Let's hear it for Star Trek! \:D/

At happy birthday, Mama Mary. :)

A post of gratitude.

If God wants me to work His love into this world as a doctor, it will happen. No matter how hard it gets, no matter how long it takes, if it is for me then it will be.

I cannot ask for more.

For one beautiful moment, I am at peace with the Universe... I am at peace with myself. The world stands still as I drink in every beautiful detail, every minute wonder of simply being. For a solitary moment I am not lost in my worldly worries, I am not fearful of what the future holds. I am simply a speck of pigment in His awesome masterpiece, a fraction of a note in His magnificent symphony. 

My heart is filled with gratitude, my soul overwhelmed by happiness. As the moment passes I know I am not tired, I know I am not afraid; best of all, I know I am not alone.

The stars He had lovingly aligned for me, and His love lights this path I have taken.

Thank You, dear Lord, for bringing me here.

Thank You, Great One, for giving me this moment.

It's been too long

Since I last made a colournerding post. So here. :))

And btw, I have found LONER KID. JUSTIN CUSTADO ASDFGKHJFDASDFHYDAFGSDHGFDSDNR PROMISE. @_@

Passion Pit.

Lately I've been really pushing myself to go beyond my limits. I've been trying my best to stay on schedule, study real well, and maximize every spare minute I have... In short, I've been trying to become a good student. Yeah. In the process I've decided I hafta kill some of my favorite hobbies, too. I sort-of realized there's not enough time for a struggling science student to practice at the drumkit and master the functions of all the muscles of a frog.. So one had to go. The frog kinda had my future in its manus, so you can fill in the rest and understand the context of the 'sigh' emoticon at the end of this sentence. :<

I'm clinging on to the hopes of qualifying for a good-enough standing, because no matter what I do the truth is my grades will determine my future. And that idea, surprisingly, got me going for the past couple of months. Yes, academic drive. Mygash. @_@

It was all good until Habagat came around. He somehow messed up the momentum I oh-so-carefully built up, and to make matters worse he left me with the flu, too.

College made me realize that sick days do not translate to chicken-noodle-soup-and-orange-juice-in-bed-with-TV-on-the-side. Sick days in college, as it turns out, are what they are: sick days.

When your mind is whirring with all the stuff you hafta do but you can't lift a finger.

When your cough is more troublesome than the noisy street DJ who keeps playing the same darn song over and over and over again... maybe not, but we're getting warm.

When your temp jumps from 36 C to 37.2 to 38.9 in a span of sixty minutes and you have frog muscles to memorize.

(I know, 'enough about the $#!&*@ frog muscles already!'. Okay. )

It just feels like the wind blew out the wonderful, wonderful fire I've just recently discovered, and at the moment I am not in shape to try and light one up again. :( I hope I will be soon, because I am not going to school tomorrow to get a checkup and it better pay off: I don't want to dig myself further into this pit of academic incapacity.

Sigh. Keep calm and stick to the stethoscope. [-o<
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I suddenly felt that this post didn't deserve to be all rant, because there are other things in life that break in a wee bit of sunshine despite the dreary skies. Like good books and good coffee and warm, gooey chocolate chip cookies, and good, good friends to share them with. :')

So! If you wanna see my dreams slowly making their way into reality, look at this!

*Insert angelic choir's sigh of ecstasy here*

That, my friend, is the door to my future cafe/restaurant. Yes, the one around the corner of the ol' brick building with the publishing house upstairs. And yes, feel free to drop by sometime! We'll talk about the rest of the old, creaky parts of my dream establishment over a plate of the house specialty: a strong cuppa joe and ooey-gooey chocolate chip cookies. :) Cheers!

Intoy Syokoy at ang aking cultural maturation

Cinemalaya yesterday! \:D/ Okay, hindi ko sa CCP pinanood, but still. I saw 'Intoy Syokoy ng Kalye Marino', and I hafta say, it's perhaps my most satisfying expense in the past !@#$%^&(*&^$%$ weeks.

And that's saying a lot, lately UPM's been pushing me towards some sort of enculturation: Chorale concerts (</3), William (see previous post), MNL 143. But I truly and wholly enjoyed watching Intoy Syokoy! Just the sort of movie to get my creative juices flowing again. I won't spoil it for ye, you hafta see it for yourself. It's that goooood. :>

It's probably the big pile of strong emotions

Saw a real-life PETA play yesterday! 'William' is about five students who discover that Shakespeare is more than just a too-flowery lesson in English.

Some notes:

1. The Shakespeare portrait in the background is AWESOME. Revolving panels = change of scenery = genius.

2. You see the big stack of stools? Hooray for makeshift props! Stools also function as lockers, doorways, tables, stairs, and other dramatic platforms.

3. Rap musical format worked well. It's great when they try to make Shakespeare kid-friendly by making it a musical, but then they went a step further and a) translated certain verses to Filipino, and b) delivered them lines via rap!

It was refreshing to feel some art in my life again.

Then spent 3.5 hours lounging off in fast food chains, waiting for Dad to pick me up. @-) About one hour of that was life-changing! Got home at around 11.30, then spent three hours writing something that I hope would somehow make sense to people who get to read it. :/ I hope it was well worth the time, energy, and coffee; I got to put my feelings into something that would somehow last longer than a caffeine buzz, but I pray it could (and would) be more than just coffee + brain fart.. I kinda poured my heart out into this one. [-o<

...It's probably the coffee.

What I'm busy with + MNL 143 spoiler!

Hey there (whoever you are who's got enough time to bother with me old, grotty blog),

So my plate's been quite full lately, and no, not with warm, ooey-gooey, greasy cheese-and-bacon pizzas slices.

1. Acads
I've been drawing lots of bio slides lately.

2. Job
Well, not really. I missed about two sessions with my regular due to the flu (WHYYYY) so really I just end up doing more Bio stuff.

3. Acads
4. Acads
5. Acads

So you see, my life's kinda monotonous lately. When fate throws in a kicker in the form of a Cinemalaya-disqualified movie (thank God it's indie!), it probably entails a ten-page output in class. @-)

It was about an FX driver's day. We get a glimpse into his life, his search for his lost sweetheart, and his passengers' individual stories as the day unfolds inside his 'magnificent' chariot. I think it was a typical indie (everyday subplots stitched together in a communal setup), but the script was colorful and the cinematography awesome ('clean' yet gritty enough). The part I loved most was the intro, with slow-mo shots and a 70s-ish Tagalog song playing in the background. The whole soundtrack weaves a story in itself actually, and the songs all sounded like old Tagalog OPM reminiscent of stuffy air and faded colors, scratchy radio transmissions and lost dreams. And the ending satisfies and sums up all those feelings. After 13 years of not seeing the love of your life, wouldn't it be a good idea to patch things up at the nearest...?

Well, that was what Allan Paule said when I asked him (YES I ACTUALLY GOT TO TALK TO HIM).

Back to Bio.

This ad is so pretty.

So Guess has a new campaign called "One to Watch" which aims to promote fashion bloggers from around the world. What caught my eye was the perfect perfect girl on their ad. SERIOUS CRUSH. And I don't even know her name. <//////////////////////3

And the pretty color palette of the photo was a big plus factor, too.

Seasonal bumming

Summer summer summer summer summer summer summer is here!

Had dinner with my best bros Nino Cholo and Victor last night at Yakimix. TWAS AWESOME. I didn't want to be the diner who took pictures of everything on her plate, so I resisted my blogger tendencies and focused on enjoying the meal instead. Hihihi. Then we went home and Nino and I had to endure Novaliches traffic (I cannot tell him eloquently enough how sorry I was he had to be bored so bad, woe is me :| ). But he was kind enough to not mind it. :)) Thank you, Lord, for such patient creatures.

Aaaanyhow. I have 20 more days to makke this the best summer ever! Goal numbah one: send you one of these postcards.

Happy bumming!

You got me rockin' and a-rollin', rockin' and a-reelin', Barbara Ann.

Never ever EVER set your alarm to a tune you like--it defeats the purpose.

I set 'Barbara Ann' and ended up waiting for my alarm to snooze three times, just so I can listen to the Beach Boys harmonize. :-j ohoho. I think I'm in love.

He leely leely looks like a grown-up Haley Joel Osment.

Soooo. Instead of waking up at six, I ended up dazed with a very beautiful summer hangover at nine. @-) And I have a ton of Chem things to read for our exam on Tuesday. Yes.

Cheers to momentary mind vacations.

Inspiration!

Because it was substantial on its own. I just had to.

Make Patty happy! Get her any one of these items/invite her over for some fun bonding time/drop her a line, and the world will surely become a better, more awesome place. Patty wants---NEEDS--- to break away from all the academic stuff.

THE SUMMER WANT LIST!

1. A retro radio/portable turntable

2. Beach Boys all summer long!

Especially this guy. :"> :"> :">
Dennis Wilson early in his career/before he became a hippy.

3. Big stack of old Archie comic books. See previous post!

4. Road trips, and lots of 'em.

Bataan, done! More please.

5. Vinyls, vinyls, vinyls. I'm not really choosy-- I would greatly appreciate a collection of waltz tunes just as much as a Revolver.. I'd like to think that you gave it some thought.

While we're on the subject of vinyls I appeal to our Beatles LPs: PLEASE COME HOME. We love you and we miss you so. It breaks my heart to think you're somewhere out cold, dark, and alone (or stuck together in misery). We love you! Come hoooome! :((((

6. Summer loving. Of course I had to bring this up. It's Grease!

I think I saw this movie  10+++ times in Pisay first year alone.

7. Tortoise Ray Ban wayfarers. Just a whim.

8. World peace, just in case you don't know I want it. Phillips SHE2650 earbuds. Mine recently broke. :((

9. A DECENT VACATION (with all the trimmings), else

10. An uno in Chemistry. >:) HAHAHA I am such an evil genius.

Have a great Friday! :D

I am soooo in love.

Surprise! More Audrey! :))

I am sorry to spoil this pretty pretty entry, but I just hafta say I am depressed because my summer class schedule is 12-8pm. EIGHT PM.

What person in the right mindset would want to leave school at eight in the evening? :| :( :( :(