And then I realize we truly are from different worlds.

Is that a bad thing? :/

Matthew 16:24

"Deny thyself, take up thy cross, and follow Me."

Dapat handa kang i-forego ang desires mo at mag-endure ng sacrifices para sundin ang Will Niya. Sabi ni Pads Allan, hindi mo daw dapat hayaang nauuna ang gusto mo mangyari bago ang gusto ni Lord para sa iyo.

This deep sense of peace about such important things in life is super comforting. <3 Thank You, Lord, for granting me this. <3

Anxiety

I should be writing a talk outline on "Standing Firm in Faith", but here I am.

Hi.

Do you ever get that feeling that things are too good to be true? Or if they are for real, what if they do not last long? What if they conflict with things in your life that are pretty much set in stone? What if, at some point, you have to let them go, no matter how happy they make you feel?

:(


:<

Mind Games

I should really stop this vicious cycle.

The assuming-expecting combo is my greatest flaw: happy as a puppy one moment then suddenly down in the dumps the next, I ride an emotional rollercoaster I built for myself with generally-nice gestures, sappy text messages, and 10-to-3 conversations about almost anything we can talk about.

Why can I not tell generic kindness from special treatment? Why do I fall for imaginary interest? Why can I not stop believing in fairytales? I am nineteen, I should've learned to be realistic a million eternities ago.

Ugh. Feels again. I shoul go back to the AVP.

It happened. ♥

“Do not fall in love with people like me. I will take you to museums, and parks, and monuments, and kiss you in every beautiful place, so that you can never go back to them without tasting me like blood in your mouth. I will destroy you in the most beautiful way possible. And when I leave you will finally understand, why storms are named after people.”

―Caitlyn Siehl, Literary Sexts: A Collection of Short & Sexy Love Poems

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Querida

Just this once, maybe you can close your eyes and think of nothing else. Forget the stack of papers waiting at your desk come Monday morning. Forget your 7PM meeting at Delmonico’s, the blinking red light of your answering machine, the dramatics of your diplomatic work— Just this once, sit with me and think not of workplace decorum or deadlines: in this moment, we are faceless strangers drinking in the hedonistic concoction of our emotions.

Just this once, maybe you can cut the chase and get on with it: maybe you can be drowsy enough to whisper sweet nothings into my ear and actually mean them, word for word. Maybe you can be stupid enough to make the move you have been hinting at for the longest time. Just this once, maybe you can be bold enough to kill the tension in the air and just press your lips against mine— softly, subtly, sentimentally.

Just this once, maybe you can forget that you are in love with someone else. You can forget how her nose wrinkles when she laughs, how she loves red lipstick but hates the mark on her wine glass, how she never cusses when she is with you. You can forget her favourite ice cream flavour, the scent of her shampoo, the salt-and-pepper shaker set she bought your mother for Christmas … and pretend that I deserve to be happy at this instant, in your arms, before sensibility clears the cloud of smoke that twists this sin into the sweetest summer memory.

Hold me close and make it happen: I will live this ecstasy over and over, swiftly, slowly; on some days with love, on others with guilt. Just this once, let go of logic and let this longing engulf our entire beings: defy the laws of physics, and let this minute stretch into an eternity of remembrances I shall hold close to my heart on the nights you come home to her embraces, her puppy-dog eyes, her back massages. Forget your inhibitions, forget your mind games, and indulge me so: just this once, just maybe, you can convincingly pretend you truly meant to win my love.

-Apollonia, http://phacthepetridish.tumblr.com/

Boys are cheats and liars.

Life is just too confusing for this pseudo-ADD kid at the moment. I don't know how to move on with the things I have to do when the smallest things--- coffee, public transportation, asterisks for Pete's sake--- remind me of you, driving my thoughts farther away from protein-energy malnutrition, iodine deficiency, and chronic diseases of lifestyle.

Lesson: don't start a fire if you don't want one. Bet nobody told you that, huh?

You are the best thing that can happen to my life at the moment. You are the worst thing that can happen to my life at the moment. I am so dysfunctional when I need to be most efficient, many thanks to you. I hope you are happy. :|