Sunday morning reflection

Lord,

Do not let the dreams you placed in my heart to die with me.

Push me to work on them now, that they may outlive my mortality.

Teach me to keep trying and trying, to persevere at my tasks and my dreams. Show me that perseverance, not perfection, is the key.

Teach me to hold on to You even when circumstances seem the most uncertain. Only You will be there for me, and that in itself is the most comforting thought.

Amen.

Working for the Weekend.

//As of 1:24 AM December 2, 2012, I am OFFICIALLY pooped. Good night.

Today I will finish the following!

[  ] Study Biolec (8 am-12 noon)
[  ] Study Biolab (1pm- 5pm)
[  ] Finish the poster (5pm- 7pm)
[  ] Read some Chem (8pm- 10pm)

I hope I am strong enough to stick to this schedule like glue. :|

Awesome Website

Check out the Etch-A-Sketch website-- Everything's eye-friendly out there! Especially the fonts. And the softened red-white-and-blue combo (reeeeally love that!). And the graphics. Everything, really. :P

There's a ton of work to do. 'Til we meet again, mon cher.

I always always ALWAYS share this sentiment.

Intoy Syokoy at ang aking cultural maturation

Cinemalaya yesterday! \:D/ Okay, hindi ko sa CCP pinanood, but still. I saw 'Intoy Syokoy ng Kalye Marino', and I hafta say, it's perhaps my most satisfying expense in the past !@#$%^&(*&^$%$ weeks.

And that's saying a lot, lately UPM's been pushing me towards some sort of enculturation: Chorale concerts (</3), William (see previous post), MNL 143. But I truly and wholly enjoyed watching Intoy Syokoy! Just the sort of movie to get my creative juices flowing again. I won't spoil it for ye, you hafta see it for yourself. It's that goooood. :>

What I'm busy with + MNL 143 spoiler!

Hey there (whoever you are who's got enough time to bother with me old, grotty blog),

So my plate's been quite full lately, and no, not with warm, ooey-gooey, greasy cheese-and-bacon pizzas slices.

1. Acads
I've been drawing lots of bio slides lately.

2. Job
Well, not really. I missed about two sessions with my regular due to the flu (WHYYYY) so really I just end up doing more Bio stuff.

3. Acads
4. Acads
5. Acads

So you see, my life's kinda monotonous lately. When fate throws in a kicker in the form of a Cinemalaya-disqualified movie (thank God it's indie!), it probably entails a ten-page output in class. @-)

It was about an FX driver's day. We get a glimpse into his life, his search for his lost sweetheart, and his passengers' individual stories as the day unfolds inside his 'magnificent' chariot. I think it was a typical indie (everyday subplots stitched together in a communal setup), but the script was colorful and the cinematography awesome ('clean' yet gritty enough). The part I loved most was the intro, with slow-mo shots and a 70s-ish Tagalog song playing in the background. The whole soundtrack weaves a story in itself actually, and the songs all sounded like old Tagalog OPM reminiscent of stuffy air and faded colors, scratchy radio transmissions and lost dreams. And the ending satisfies and sums up all those feelings. After 13 years of not seeing the love of your life, wouldn't it be a good idea to patch things up at the nearest...?

Well, that was what Allan Paule said when I asked him (YES I ACTUALLY GOT TO TALK TO HIM).

Back to Bio.

That Limbo Feeling

We went to Pisay today! Cholo, Nino, and Victor were actually there. It's the first time since asdfghjkl and I can't be happier to be back in Pisay, lalo na kasama ko sila. \:D/ \:D/ \:D/ \:D/

Pisay was almost the same as we left it. And that was a bit comforting. I did not get to visit our Up bathroom, though. :( I don't know if it's still the dreamy heavenly place we made of it. Haha.

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PAG-ASA says it should be summer, but UPM says otherwise.

I still don't know if I'd be taking the Math I finals on Monday. Sana po hindi. :|

In other news, today I found an Audrey Hepburn teacuuuuuuup! 8D 8D 8D Couldn't resist.

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Sometimes I wonder if someone out there's actually reading all this, if what I'm saying travels some other set of brainwaves and somehow matters to some other person, if only for a few moments.

Thinking out loud, I am. So there. I love you! Have a great weekend. :))

Remington: Miss kita eh.

Nanood ako (uli) ng Zombadings nung Saturday. :>

 I believe you make me want to experience new things in the world,

and discover things about myself that even I didn’t know before.

I do believe I become myself when I am with you. ♥

I do believe that someday I will be brave enough to deliver a speech this epic. I thank you.

Indulging my geeky humor

I love Canadian humor, despite the fact that le country is taking away all the people I love. </3

Sunday Dreamer

This one's for the summer vacation I won't be having. <////3

How I decided on the rest of my life

Back when I was trying to pick out which UP campus to attend, my decision was sorta influenced by daydreams of walking through ancient halls and marveling at awesome prewar architecture.

Well, UPM didn't turn out to be all that. :-j Maybe I'd hafta explore a bit more.

Very violent TV

Movies like this make me want to be a geek any day. B-)

I have been postponing schoolwork all weekend. I AM EVIL ADFGHJKLKJHGFDSA. @_@

I'm losing you

So I reeeeeally feel like crying right now, but as usual I am too tired. I spent the day at a baptism then went straight to Tutorlink and taught for three straight hours.. and then this heartbreaking moment: the realization that (maybe) I'm a failure at trying to keep old friendships, or at least nurture them. <///3

I think I'm losing you, and it's making my eyes rain and my heart break into a million little pieces too microscopic to childishly put together with a bit of white glue.. or any other (sticky) means, for that matter. :(

*One big sigh.*

Heartache tonight, I know.

6pm on a Sunday is not a good time for thinking life over. Or is it?

Today I realized a few things:

1. I'm desperate to color something with a nice layout. Grngh. I miss WebDev, and I regret not being awesome at it.
2.  How awesome it is to be around Pisay people again. </3
3. I need to do something creative.
4. The hardest thing about moving on is realizing that the other person has moved on too. :))
5. I really feel the need to use these colors somewhere:

I dare you to make a poem or story out of the color names here! Comment mo na lang. :>

Sooo. I am currently reliving my dreams of becoming a graphics designer.
<commencing epic space-out session>

BUT! Before I completely space out, a bit about last night :>

RO-ANNE'S DEBUT! It was fun! Til we got to the part where her contacts solution started irritating her eye so much that the debut had to end early so that she could go to the hospital. :( I hope she's doing well now, though. [-o<

It was great to see Pisay people again! I was on a happiness high, which could probably explain my happy colors. We headed over to McDonald's [and brought the party there]. Had an epic moment involving Dexter and the McDo Counter Girl (MCG). :> :))) Dex ordered a double caramel sundae. The waitress handed her a spoon instead of a teaspoon.

Dex: Uhm, pwede pahingi ng maliit na kutsara?

MCG: Eh sir, malaki po sundae nyo eh.

=)))))))))))))))))))

NGA PALA! First date ever ko rin last night. Three F words would best sum up this lifetime milestone :

FUDGE FRIES FUN
:>

Thank you so much, Nino! You make dreams come true. Ahihihihihi. :"> =)))))))) So here's that epic people-breaking-into-song sequence we've always been dreaming of. :>

So there. :)

<really commencing epic space-out session>

Sad Sundays.

We all cry over these scenes: someone ends up with their best friend and everything goes swell until something goes wrong and leaves a big, gaping hole in their life. And then things start to fall apart, and you hafta be in a Pixar movie to have a happy ending. :(

Heartbroken, lonesome, emo, uninspired, and every other nega adjective.

asdfghjkklhgfdsdfghjk. Almost-Finals week is heeere. Math depex and Socsci exam on Friday. I screwed up my last socsci exam (sort of) and my last math depex too, and I REEEEEALLY NEED TO MAKE UP FOR BOTH.

I feel so alone in the college world. No Pisay friends to study with for the exams. No Pisay friends to hang out with at the caf. No Pisay friends to share formulas, frustrations, tears and hugs with. <///////////3

How the hell do you survive college finals alone? :'(

Here's to wishing I'd finish my requirements tonight.

Hey, friend!
I hope you're having a better time at college. If not, I will pray and send you light and happiness and good vibes, too. And if you're having an especially tough time, I'll throw in a package of Fibisco Chocolate Chip Cookies (ya know, the sort you grew up with) and milk, and then I'll call you so we can meet up and bond over our misery so that hopefully things will start looking up for us.

Lots of hugs (and a lot more love),

Patty :)

Sunday Afternoon Radio.

Kitty Kallen. Vera Lynn. Dean Martin and Frank Sinatra. Glenn Miller and his orchestra.

This is why Sunday afternoons are so nice for me.

Look for their songs on Youtube, then hit the 'play' button. Then close your eyes and imagine how these songs stood witness to countless WW2 love affairs: the soldiers who left their girlfriends without any assurance of a happy reunion, the love letters and photographs sent from across the globe to lonely GI's on the front.

My breaking heart and I agree
that you and I could never be.

This is the palette for the pattern I posted in my previous blog entry. Hi, Amanda! :)

Aaanyhow. So the war ended, and Alfred Eisenstaedt immortalized that triumphant moment with his camera... and ended up one of the most iconic photographs of World War II.

The V-J Day Kiss.

Did you know that these kissers were total strangers? :O

So there. Turn on the radio, tune in to FM 104.3, and start falling in love. :>

PS: I typed this entire entry via on-screen keyboard! @-) :)))

All the stars have agreed.

So since today's a Saturday I was supposed to go to Tutorlink to teach (cue "Working for the Weekend" by Loverboy here) wheeeen...

...my student cancelled. Hahaha.

My dad and I just passed by the cemetery where my paternal grandparents chose to spent their eternity, so we thought we'd pay them a visit.

The last of this week's money (also known as my savings) went to flowers and candles for Nanay and Tatay. I don't feel bad, considering they've provided for the entirety of my education before Pisay. I just feel like the lady who sold me the candles and the other who sold me the flowers earned a hefty profit. asdfghjiklkjhgfds.

Anyhow, moving on. All this time it was raining hard, I could sense that Quiel was enjoying his/her stay in our area of responsibility. Gusts of wind kept blowing out the candles we've just lighted inside the family mausoleum.

Dad turned on the old radio/boombox by the corner. It was a gift from him to his parents back when he was a young lad. Dad's the kind of guy who gives his parents a gift on the day of his birthday. HIS birthday. I wish I were that nice.

Out poured the lyrics of some OPM song I didn't recognize. But I was pretty sure it was Yael Yuzon singing.

"...Panatag na'ng kalooban ko

At ika'y kapiling ko na.

O kay tagal kitang hinintay."

Kay tagal kitang hinintay.

I suddenly felt like crying. I felt like my grandparents were talking to me from the other side. It's been a long time since I last visited them, and that very moment I felt like they never really left. Like they were there, sitting, waiting for me. Asking me what took me so long.

And I felt like crying for myself too. I felt like I've lost that part of me--that kid who felt so loved and felt nothing but love and compassion for the world.

It was a long time ago. Back when Math was made up of just numbers. When college was but a distant dream. When the world was yet to turn me into the cynical, frustrated, numbish person that I am now.

And so in my head I started talking to them.

"Hello, Nanay, Tatay. Si Patty po ito. Feeling ko binagsak ko yung depex ko kahapon. Hahaha..."

Remember that song from the Pisay movie soundtrack?

It has always sounded so bittersweet to me.

Let my dreams somersault, 

Paint your rainbows here.

I feel like this is going to be one of those coming-of-age moments in my life.

The Morning (Afternoon) after. I am having a cup of black coffee after this.

Last night was sad and happy and senti and high and heartbreaking all at the same time. How'd that happen?

That's the magic of coming home (and two bottles of Pocari Sweat, a can of Sprite, unlimited hotdogs on sticks, and 80s music booming everywhere). Teehee. :))

I DID NOT GET TO HANG  OUT WITH JUSTIN THAT MUCH.

I learned a lot from Marc Francisco. :)) And then Kristel and Narvs and I spent some time at the Grandstand and talked and talked. It felt good to be in Pisay again. :)

I got a lot of advice from Narvs and Marj. Namiss ko ang mga pare ko! :((((

I've finished two of the six things I hafta accomplish this weekend. On to the four less fun ones. :/

I need a longer day. and I WANT A POLAROID CAMERA.

Weeks should have more weekends.

Everybody's Workin' for the Weekend.

You know that feeling when you know you hafta be doing something else, something waaaaaaay more urgent and important than posting on your blog?

Yeahp.

1. Math samplex. The prof gave out questionnaires and I started scribbling my thoughts on mine. First in pencil, then in ink. I would call it proactive learning, but I'm sure my prof would think otherwise. :| To make matters worse, turns out we hafta submit the questionnaire itself. HA. HAHAHA. Why. :|

2. NSTP script. One time Sarah Yangco posted a bit of wisdom on FB that goes something like this:

If you love what you're doing, then it's not work.

Then I'm sure as hell working on the NSTP script. I just can't feel the love right now. Especially when someone's reeeeeally testing your patience threshold, trying to push your limit. :| :| :|

3. Socsci readings. It's for tuesday, but I wanna get it done. Okay, I'm doing it right after finishing this. >:)

I think the only good thing that happened to me this morning was James Dean.

         "Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'd die today."

Gawd, he's awesome. @-)